Category: Mental & Emotional Wellbeing Blogs

  • Acquire the Habit of Reading

    Acquire the Habit of Reading

    Learning and acquiring knowledge never really stop, even after we graduate from a university or land the job that we have always wanted. Learning as a process is something ongoing in our lives. In fact, unlearning something also requires us to learn how to unlearn. Strange but true.

    Here, I want to discuss something around a concept that sounds fascinating, but we find it hard to build on. Research shows that the lifestyle of the most successful people revolve around the enticing idea of making time to learn something or the other. When I reflect on the word ‘making;’ that rings a bell. They consistently find time to read, dive deeper into studying and understanding material well-above what is taught in the academic institutions. As no surprise, they become outstanding thinkers, creators and even leaders.

    Am I saying that reading and learning is the only factor involved in the success we envision. No. However, it certainly adds to one’s creative bent, envisages an individual’s cognitive bandwidth and also carves out a path for perspective building. And yes, all this with reading and “learning to read” in order to expand the very same spirit of success and growth.

    Well, reading might not allure a lot of people just in an instance. Thereby, I have jotted some ways in which you can fit reading and make it a part of your practice, routine, add it to your hobby list quite effortlessly. And remember to become effortless in something, we still need to put in an effort until it starts to run smooth within our functioning.

     

    • Set An Intention:

    Reading is so much about exploring and getting to know new things. It can be fun when we know what we want out of it. Select a genre, and find the book that fits your understanding. Although the idea of “intention setting” may seem woo-woo or like something one would do at the start of a yoga session, gym training session, business coaching session etc. It is pretty much fundamental for everyone with goals. Intention becomes the first and most important step in accomplishing objectives as one grows and commits to them.

     

    • Find Your Right Fit:

    Discovering quality books can be incredibly difficult. Due to the abundance of books accessible at first, you may end up getting a decision fatigue. Your energy may get drained before you even begin reading. To ease that very process, you can search for a curated list produced by industry experts you look up to and save time on selecting books. You may also ask individuals you respect about what they read, google “favourite books” of successful people you follow, or just pursue your own interests, which may also involve some experimenting.

     

    • Reading as a Morning Routine:

    Read in the morning, even if that means waking up a bit earlier that your usual time.  It is a good plan to devour at least 20 pages in the morning or time yourself for 30 minutes of reading each day. It is the ideal time to invest in yourself in the morning since your body and mind are both fresh enough from the goodnight’s sleep. A bedtime reading habit isn’t bad too but who knows how the day will end, how the fatigue will set in, what if the workload increases and what about some of those social responsibilities that might take up a toll.

     

    • Read as much as you can:

    Of course, if you have more time, do not limit your reading to just 30 minutes or 20 pages each day. Read as much as you can. Starting to read every day can help you improve your vocabulary, expand your horizon of knowledge, even add to your very own decision making and problem-solving skills. Not only that, this practice of reading can sharpen your analytical skills. As a bonus, some researches also state that a healthy practice of reading can aid an individual in becoming a better writer and even add to one’s expressions. It is like an ‘aha’ to learning new things, concepts and even shaping one’s behaviour.

     

    • Stay on Track

    After you have found the ideal book to start with and have these guidelines that I just shared above, you can build in a habit of reading and stay on track.

    • Track your reading habit daily. You can use an app for the same or simply write it down in your journal/diary.
    • Gradually, increase the no. of pages, chapters, or time as per your comfort and schedule.
    • Keep a book handy while you are on the move so you can fill in your “gap” hours; or you can call it ‘wasted’ time, if any. For instance, if you are travelling via public transport such as metro, cabs etc. In fact, the new trend of reel scrolling can be switched with picking up a book and reading a few lines.
    • Turn off the television when there is nothing of true interest to you and let the curiosity in the book set in the tone for you.

    In the realm of developing a practice of reading, these modest measures outlined above can help you achieve those changes you have always aspired for. Also, bringing in a realisation that majority of our behaviours that seem to have a significant influence on our lives, while not seemingly looked at as urgent are crucial. To simplify, big things that we aim for start with small steps and these very small steps are something that we either do not notice or surpass. Last but not the least, if you find yourself indulging in acquiring the habit of reading, and now that you are familiar with some of its benefits, take all the necessary actions and consistently works towards new learning, more growth, and your eventual success in life.

     

    Thanks for reading!

    To book in a session with a counselling Psychologist at Lucid Mind, kindly click here and fill in the contact form.

    This article is a contribution by our young psychologist Ms. Aayushi Patni who is emapenelled with Lucid Mind for over a year now. This is her first submission on our platform. We encourage such young talents to let their thoughts out.

    Edits: Team Lucid Mind 

  • Shun that Toxic Exchange with your Parents today ! Own your Responsibility

    Shun that Toxic Exchange with your Parents today ! Own your Responsibility

    Ever wondered if the clouds which were meant to protect you from the rays, get dense and hide the sun itself? Though the cloud’s main objective was to protect you, it has now wrapped a blanket of curtailment around; a world it wants you to perceive. Or the world could be a dense forest, with tall trees aiming to shield the small shrubs, but end up creating a dark space for them with no sunlight reaching out. If you twig closely, you can see the similarities between the above metaphors and your equation with your parents or the bond of people around you with their parents. It is a sensitive topic; many people aren’t probably ready for this conversation.

    I have heard many arguments stating that parent’s intentions are pure and undoubtful; maybe their way of executing them isn’t exemplary, but they wish the best for you. I wished this worked both ways. They are eligible to be treated as gods as soon as they give birth to a child. Or to be more accurate, this mindset develops in them after having a child. They live in this complex and at times, fail to carry out their duties. Parents feel just because they brought their children into this world, they should feel indebted towards them and give all the control in their hands. Their expectations begin from the very nascent stages and when the child is not able to fulfil them, they use fear as the weapon. Being respected and being feared sounds synonymous for many of them. Some think of this as a proud achievement, that someone fears them so much, that they would never do anything against their parent’s will. Some of them enjoy this power. They don’t realise they are shaping the personality of their child; instead tend to modify it according to their needs or the society and family’s expectations, probably to smother their insecurities and past trauma and feel more accepted by people around them.

    They sometimes fail to look at their child as an individual, they treat them as their clones and are thus expected to behave and act in the same way they do. When parents force their child to do something outside his/her comfort zone, it has a huge impact on the child’s mind. It creates doubts, no matter how much the child tries to act as the parent wanted him/her to and still not get acknowledged, it roots in. insecurities and low self-confidence. It is a daily struggle to be heard, to be loved and to get appreciated. It is heart-breaking when the parent doesn’t like their child expressing or feeling something in other ways than expected. It must be an agonizing feeling for the child, to not have any individuality. The child’s existence then, revolves around getting validated by his/her parents. But there is no limit visible as ‘ENOUGH’. Even when they try to share anything, the results are often hurtful, just adding an extra amount of pain to the pile which was on the verge of falling.

    These insecurities and trauma then can become the foundation for the other relationships in the child’s life.

    • Maybe a child was constantly made conscious about their body weight by their parents, find it difficult to love their body and allow anyone to touch it.
    • Maybe a child who was not loved and constantly sought validation from their parents now needs constant reassurance from their friends or partner and has a fear of abandonment.
    • Maybe a child who wasn’t appreciated or acknowledged for any achievement or accomplishment, now finds it difficult to believe people and accept compliments.
    • Maybe a child who wasn’t heard or allowed to express his/her feelings and just be himself/herself, now finds it extremely hard to communicate and ends up reaching out to toxic people because s/he thinks, this is how he or she should strive or function- on instability.

    It intensifies and ruins relations when their friend, partner or another connection is not able to understand. where is this coming from, what are the roots or sources for these traits and behavioural patterns. It is in fact hard for the child to identify why is s/he is reacting to a thing in a certain way, what was the trigger and what fuelled the reaction.

    The pandemic has made such situations even tougher. Earlier, there were escape routes. There were easy distractions. Now, no matter how much you run away, at the end of the day, you are back to this pain. You are present to see more arguments and conflicts between your parents without them realising the impact it has had on you from childhood. The more the disagreements, the more the misery and distress. These disputes can have all the reasons except you. It’s just a reaction, having a different origin being thrown out on you. You keep finding your fault and you fail. All you do now is wait for the world to resume.

    This is not an act of promoting hatred towards parents. You must have seen parents of people around and many of you would have wished the same love they give to their children. You believed you could have immense respect and gratitude towards your parents, only if they realised what they are doing to their child unknowingly. Many a times, you must have tried talking to them, explaining to them where they are wrong, and the results were as expected. You have done your part, there’s nothing else you could do. Just embrace yourself by not taking things on yourself, distance yourself from indulging in conversations that do you harm and balance your reactions vs. response variation. Allow yourself for having this responsibility on your shoulders to break this toxic chain here itself, and not carry it forward for new generations to come. You are brave and loved.

    Find yourself within 😊

    Thanks for reading!

    To book in a session with a counselling Psychologist at Lucid Mind, kindly click here and fill in the contact form.

    This article is a contribution by a young writer Riddhi Vadhel who is a student of BBA-MBA integrated course and has volunteered with us.  We believe she is exceptionally good at her style of writing and writes flawlessly with her own experience around mental and emotional health. We encourage such young talents to let their thoughts out.

    Edits: Team Lucid Mind